Two people are out sailing when suddenly a hand appears in the sea.
“What’s this?” asked the skipper, “It looks as if someone is drowning!”
“No,” explained his crew, “It’s just a little wave.”
An old sailor was having a beer in a bar when he started chatting to the young lass who was sitting beside him. After a while he asked her, “What do you do?”
She replied “I am a lesbian.”
Looking a bit puzzled, he asked “What does a lesbian do”.
“When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I think of is beautiful women. Then all day all I think of is beautiful women. And the last thing I think of at night is beautiful women”, she replied.
He was quiet for a few minutes as he sat there thinking about this. So she asked him, “And what do you do?”
“I used to think I was a sailor,” he replied. “But now I find out I am a lesbian.”
She replied “I am a lesbian.”
Looking a bit puzzled, he asked “What does a lesbian do”.
“When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I think of is beautiful women. Then all day all I think of is beautiful women. And the last thing I think of at night is beautiful women”, she replied.
He was quiet for a few minutes as he sat there thinking about this. So she asked him, “And what do you do?”
“I used to think I was a sailor,” he replied. “But now I find out I am a lesbian.”
Captain and No 1 reminiscing about their terrible worldwar days on the Arctic convoys together.
Capt : Tell me No 1, please. All through those terrible storm wracked, blacked out nights, you never failed once to bring me a steaming full mug o tea on the night watch. How on earth without ever spillng a drop?
Capt : Tell me No 1, please. All through those terrible storm wracked, blacked out nights, you never failed once to bring me a steaming full mug o tea on the night watch. How on earth without ever spillng a drop?
No 1. : Well Sir, since you ask, I used to take a big ol swig in me mouth in the galley, then put it back in the mug right outside the bridgedeck door
The Irish crew of a sailing boat were tasked with burying their mate Murphy who wanted to be buried at sea.
Pat and Mick had rowed out a little when Pat got out of the boat and stood knee deep in water, We need to go out further says Pat, so they row out another fifty yards then Pat jumps out and the water reaches his chin, We need to go out further says he, so they row another 100 yards.
Pat jumps out again and dissapears under water, after 5 min he reapears and after a little coughing and spluttering says to Mick, “Thats far enough give me out the shovel.
Pat and Mick had rowed out a little when Pat got out of the boat and stood knee deep in water, We need to go out further says Pat, so they row out another fifty yards then Pat jumps out and the water reaches his chin, We need to go out further says he, so they row another 100 yards.
Pat jumps out again and dissapears under water, after 5 min he reapears and after a little coughing and spluttering says to Mick, “Thats far enough give me out the shovel.
